Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Excuse this post

I'm fucking pissed off that I can't even cry about it. Okay I can cry, but just a little and then my fists clench up again and I get up with a fierceness that slices space. 
My sister is the source of my frustration. There's no respect for boundaries, personal space or the fact that we share the attic.
I feel like I don't belong here
I love my family, my parents, my sisters. But I can't keep comforting my older sister like I'm her mom and then expecting the same kind of loving kindness. Each time I'm met with an emptiness that screams disrespect and unappreciation.
While I was away she used my room as her storage space and energetically vomitted her chaotic doubtful energy all over my sacred temple and as I clean up after HER mess she tells me to stop what I'm doing because her and her immature 30 something boyfriend are going to have sex. And the weirdest part is she said it like they were going to have a board meeting that they planned days ago. Some stale arrangement based off of cult like fetishes, not love. 
My back hurts, I ate hummus and tortilla chips and my belly feels blubberifigle. 
The song one day plays in my mind and I feel like a hypocrite.
I'm a peaceful, spiritual loving person but right now I am in rage and flame is piercing the places along my spine that are already inflammed by food choices and toxic resentment.
Why has this pattern followed us for so long?
I feel like I don't belong here; like I won't be here very long. Like there's a haven waiting for me, a dim light ready to shine and summon me home.
But not until I pass this test:

I can handle that.
I understand that she is exploring herself and that I used to make love when she was around without even forwarning her. At least she gave me a notice, right?
It's not like she purposefully had intercourse just so I couldn't finish cleaning and go to sleep.
It's not like she knows that I had insomnia last night and I want to go to my dreamworld.

My partner and I want to live together. He can't live here at my parents house. And if I want to live with him then I better get used to not sleeping here. Perhaps this is a cosmic forshadowing of my future moving arrangements and the temporary nature of things.

I feel better. I'm still sleepy but I'm not angry.
Actually I feel inspired to look up apartments and beautiful homes and practice visualizing myself with the love of my life living in harmony near nature. Near the t station or somewhere with easy access to trasportation. Throw in a hybrid- bio diesel powered car while I'm at it..
And lots of community events that bring people together and create sustainability, connection and power to the people!


Keep shifting, keep moving, keep expressing and be still.
Blessings are on the way

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Traveling tips from a stranger's home

As a traveler, I have picked up on a lot of tips, styles and details while exploring the world. I've traveled small distances, across the USA and other countries. I've ran in to challenges and huge blessings along my journey and would like to share with you some of the things I've learned.
Before we start I'd like to point out, whether you've traveled to all the continents on earth or just around your city, if you enjoy seeing new places, discovering culture, witnessing beauty, meeting new people all while moving your legs, YOU ARE A TRAVELER! 
And a unique one!
No one has ever set foot exactly where you have been in the same sequence of events and experienced the same emotions or perspective as you,
And for that I honor you and your inner navigation that so intelligently guides you.
With that comes my first tip: 

Trust. Trust your feelings, trust the signs that reoccur-they have purpose, trust the people who want to help you-there are angels in this world who happen to be human. Trust that whatever happens you will learn, grow and have life experiences that are special and sacred.

Next, Have Intentions but keep your plans loose while traveling. Don't try to control what happens too much but have a purpose behind what your doing. 
It can be as general as meeting new people or as specific as finding a new breed of wild mushroom in the fields of New Zealand.

The next is a pragmatic tip- invest in a high quality stainless steel water bottle that you can reuse and keep water with you at all times. Stay hydrated!

My fourth suggestion is to try different modes of traveling. There's always the option of taking a plane if you are going lost distances, but consider driving and taking a road trip or a train. Most of the time we only think of the ways we have to pay for but I emphasize using more eccentric modes such as hitchhiking and using ride sharing websites. These ways give you the chance to change direction at any moment and see more places in between your starting point and destination. Hitching rides gives you opportunities like meeting so many people, sharing your story with them, witnessing so many walks of life and forces you to let go of trying to control everything!

Which brings me to the last tip for this article:
Surrender and let your journey unfold in the wings of magic and be held in the hands of the Divine. Because with faith and love you will be guided, protected and provided for.

All of these tips comes from my personal experience. Remember that your attitude determines your experience- you are so powerful!
Thank you dear traveler for reading this. Please share with other explorers and go risk it to get the biscuit!
Peace homie