Being home is safer...

Being home is safer

Than witnessing sorrow in the eyes of fellow bus riders

Or

Being pressured by peers to get a little bit higher

Or

Feeling awkward when the cashier hands me my extra dollars,

Wanting to say so much more than

‘thank you’

being home is safer

than inhaling car fumes on the walk to buy groceries

or

facing my own shadows when I encounter people I envy

or

when I pass someone on the street, our eyes meet, mouths open to say hello,

but sound doesn’t get the memo

so we word it with our lips, was that moment missed?

Being home is safer than facing fears

Or

Saying no to the beggar who asks for money,

Who looks hungry,

But only feeds their addictions

Or

Being judged head to toe by people you don’t know

Or

Seeing a row of cars collide right before your eyes

And realizing if you were 10 seconds earlier,

You could have died

Being home is safer

Than leaving people you love without saying goodbye

Or

Getting yelled at by a teacher for letting out a sigh

Or

Being ignored by your secret crush when you give them a smile

Being home is safe

Yes

Cushioned with the familiarity of control

Decorated in easy to receive pleasures

Boxed up with pre set patterns and tied with a bow

No stress, no pressures, no where to go,

Ah

But it’s when you’re out of your comfort zone that character grows

You’d never know the potential of water unless you’ve experienced snow

It may be cold but the beauty is worth it

Challenges are opportunities for you to realize your capability

Difficult times are life’s way of showing you that you’re worthy

Don’t stop when life gets hard because blessings are a few yards down the road

Hitchhiking across America 2 years in a row, opened up my mind to parts of myself I would’ve never known

Being home is safe yes, but I’m not afraid to roam

Excuse this post

I'm fucking pissed off that I can't even cry about it. Okay I can cry, but just a little and then my fists clench up again and I get up with a fierceness that slices space. 

My sister is the source of my frustration. There's no respect for boundaries, personal space or the fact that we share the attic.

I feel like I don't belong here

I love my family, my parents, my sisters. But I can't keep comforting my older sister like I'm her mom and then expecting the same kind of loving kindness. Each time I'm met with an emptiness that screams disrespect and unappreciation.

While I was away she used my room as her storage space and energetically vomitted her chaotic doubtful energy all over my sacred temple and as I clean up after HER mess she tells me to stop what I'm doing because her and her immature 30 something boyfriend are going to have sex. And the weirdest part is she said it like they were going to have a board meeting that they planned days ago. Some stale arrangement based off of cult like fetishes, not love. 

My back hurts, I ate hummus and tortilla chips and my belly feels blubberifigle. 

The song one day plays in my mind and I feel like a hypocrite.

I'm a peaceful, spiritual loving person but right now I am in rage and flame is piercing the places along my spine that are already inflammed by food choices and toxic resentment.

Why has this pattern followed us for so long?

I feel like I don't belong here; like I won't be here very long. Like there's a haven waiting for me, a dim light ready to shine and summon me home.

But not until I pass this test:

Forgiveness.

I can handle that.

I understand that she is exploring herself and that I used to make love when she was around without even forwarning her. At least she gave me a notice, right?

It's not like she purposefully had intercourse just so I couldn't finish cleaning and go to sleep.

It's not like she knows that I had insomnia last night and I want to go to my dreamworld.

My partner and I want to live together. He can't live here at my parents house. And if I want to live with him then I better get used to not sleeping here. Perhaps this is a cosmic forshadowing of my future moving arrangements and the temporary nature of things.

I feel better. I'm still sleepy but I'm not angry.

Actually I feel inspired to look up apartments and beautiful homes and practice visualizing myself with the love of my life living in harmony near nature. Near the t station or somewhere with easy access to trasportation. Throw in a hybrid- bio diesel powered car while I'm at it..

And lots of community events that bring people together and create sustainability, connection and power to the people!

Yahooooaaaaa!

Keep shifting, keep moving, keep expressing and be still.

Blessings are on the way

Traveling tips from a stranger's home

As a traveler, I have picked up on a lot of tips, styles and details while exploring the world. I've traveled small distances, across the USA and other countries. I've ran in to challenges and huge blessings along my journey and would like to share with you some of the things I've learned.

Before we start I'd like to point out, whether you've traveled to all the continents on earth or just around your city, if you enjoy seeing new places, discovering culture, witnessing beauty, meeting new people all while moving your legs, YOU ARE A TRAVELER! 

And a unique one!

No one has ever set foot exactly where you have been in the same sequence of events and experienced the same emotions or perspective as you,

And for that I honor you and your inner navigation that so intelligently guides you.

With that comes my first tip: 

Trust. Trust your feelings, trust the signs that reoccur-they have purpose, trust the people who want to help you-there are angels in this world who happen to be human. Trust that whatever happens you will learn, grow and have life experiences that are special and sacred.

Next, Have Intentions but keep your plans loose while traveling. Don't try to control what happens too much but have a purpose behind what your doing. 

It can be as general as meeting new people or as specific as finding a new breed of wild mushroom in the fields of New Zealand.

The next is a pragmatic tip- invest in a high quality stainless steel water bottle that you can reuse and keep water with you at all times. Stay hydrated!

My fourth suggestion is to try different modes of traveling. There's always the option of taking a plane if you are going lost distances, but consider driving and taking a road trip or a train. Most of the time we only think of the ways we have to pay for but I emphasize using more eccentric modes such as hitchhiking and using ride sharing websites. These ways give you the chance to change direction at any moment and see more places in between your starting point and destination. Hitching rides gives you opportunities like meeting so many people, sharing your story with them, witnessing so many walks of life and forces you to let go of trying to control everything!

Which brings me to the last tip for this article:

Surrender and let your journey unfold in the wings of magic and be held in the hands of the Divine. Because with faith and love you will be guided, protected and provided for.

All of these tips comes from my personal experience. Remember that your attitude determines your experience- you are so powerful!

Thank you dear traveler for reading this. Please share with other explorers and go risk it to get the biscuit!

Peace homie

To receive abundance, give abundance

Everywhere in the world people are waking up to this idea of attracting abundance. Realizing that our thoughts magnetically draw us into the reality we live has helped many people begin to take responsibility for what they are experiencing. 

In this post I'll share with you three simple things you can do right NOW that will get you into a more abundant mindset. 

people are asking: 'so if i think about money, i will make money, right?'

Yes, and no. 

If you are thinking about money and feel bad about money and feel undeserving, icky, or greedy around money than you are not attracting abundance. You are attracting scarcity. How to know what you are attracting? Only your feelings can tell you that.. Pay attention to how you feel.

 

A lot of my friends are extrememly creative and talented and have a lot to share with the world but are still stuck in a mindset of lack, of being broke and not knowing how to make money..

I heard a quote today that shifted my thinking: "There's not a lack of money in the world, there's a lack of people who know how to make money."

And it IS a process, there's a momentum that takes TIME to build up so be patient and start with your thinking!

Here's three simple steps to start attracting abundance: 

 Realize there is enough money in the world for everyone to have more than they need and could ever want. 

Second, change what you are wearing and seeing. If your clothes are dirty and wrinkled, and your couch has foam falling out of it, then change your environment. Where you live is your personal creative space and it affects your mood. Paint happy feeling colors on the wall. Scrub your toenails and give yourself a spa day. 

Clean your closet, your kitchen cupboards. Throw away any unhealthy foods and condiments that are not serving your vitality and joy.

Take action upon this now. Start small and do little things everyday.

Third and most important!! GIVE.

Help others. Whether it is making dinner for your family, sending a friend a letter that you wrote by hand, doing some yardwork for an elder across the street. By giving to others you are passing on the energy of abundance to someone else. You are improving the well being of others and thus you are creating ripples of richness that inevitably come back to you.

Don't expect anything in return.

Give unselfishly and feel the joy that comes with that and be satisfied just knowing you are being of service.

This is the real game changer...

Abundance takes action to propel it. Don't just read this, but act upon it and remember life is meant to be fun! Even if you don't have much money there's always something to be grateful for and ways to bring joy into your life :) 

Happy moon day <3

Pooff ***

2014 has been a very challenging year for me. I turned 18 and realized all the ways I had relied on my parents and taken their wealth for granted. I realized I was a somewhat spoiled and sheltered baby who had no idea what life was like for most people on the planet, who never had a job in my life so I had a very poor work ethic and a lot of self centered attitudes. I have realized many of my beliefs around abundance and mainly lack of it. I have truly started to reverse imbalanced eating patterns that I've had since a young child. I'm starting to take full responsibility for the pain and dissatisfaction I've created in myself and adopted a real desire to heal and connect to others. 

Phew..

Not only that but I broke up and got back together with my partner. Traveled to upstate New York, Philadelphia, Washington DC area, and hitchhiked to California. I've started school online at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and am on my way to becoming a health coach. I got reiki 1, 2, and 3 attunements and am on my way to reiki mastery and greater healing within myself.. 

Wwhhhho. 

Okay. So I've shedded a lot and initiated a lot and am basically building a whole new life for myself. The point of this shpeel is to show you how in one year or less you can completely change your life. You can reverse the direction of your attention, your mind, your emotions and start to create a life that you are excited about living, that is purposeful, beneficial to all and one that makes you feel goood. Excited, passionate, loved. 

How do you do this? 

Start with gratitude for what is already good. We're talking perception shifting. New eyes. Seeing what is right in front of you. Your breath, you are breathing and don't even have to try. 

What turns on your creativity? How do you feel when you can use your gifts or interests to help others?

I started the year completely unsure of what I wanted to do with my life, how I was going to support myself, scared for my health, not completely sure I wanted to be in such a comitted relationship, insecure in many ways that I was afraid of admitting and you know what? I was thinking about myself a whole lot. I was so self focused that I couldn't even see all the beauty and blessings that were around me. 

I am still working on this and know that I have so much to heal, to let go of and to Remember, and I'm okay with that because I know it can only get better. 

It will get better. You reading this shows that it is only getting better! 

Trust yourself, be prepared for a long journey and have fun! Make life feel good, it is supposed to feel good, the kind of good that relies on no external object, the good that radiates from your heart as joy and has no limits. Let this goodness be your journey. You are supported and loved far more than you realize. 

I love you. You can do it! 

(Receiving is becoming) 

Namaste

More Christ

Happy Christmas everyone! I sincerely wish you a day to celebrate and appreciate life with your family and closest friends. Today many people celebrate the birth of a beautiful healer that people in America call Jesus. He has many names all over the world, but this does not change who he was. We all hear stories about Jesus and they tend to recycle over and over. But! No one really knows what the life of Jesus was truly lik. I like to imagine it...
In a hot dry area of Earth there was a humble man who worked as a fisherman and a carpenter. He had a profound connection to nature and could calm storms, walk on water and turn water into wine. He didn't brag or show off his power but wanted others to understand it, understand their connection to nature. He had the deepest love for people and others would come to him to listen to his stories, and receive the affection and intimacy he had for all of life...
Jesus was born in a farm around animals in a dirty and rather smelly stable. He grew up in a house made of sand, straw and clay. He had a pet dog that he would play with daily and it was his best friend. He would walk 2 miles a day to get water for his family when he was in his teen years. A lot of young people hung around the well and they like to observe Jesus. Many girls thought he was homosexual, but he was actually very sensitive and had a strong attraction towards a woman named Mary Megdelene. They met while in  their twenties and had a very strong bond. Some called them soul twins. They began teaching healing arts at a young age and would cure people using reiki, herbs and mushroom tea. They would travel the land and go from village to village sharing their healing remedies and teach people..
His first peak of the world may have been up at the shining stars, or a donkey, or maybe his mother's gentle eyes. At a very young age Jesus had an adventurous spirit; he would wander off to the temples to hear sermons and walk around town to talk to scholars and religious leaders. He didn't conform to the religion of his time, but rather had a direct connection to the truth of God's love and wisdom from within HimSelf. He was so connected to this wisdom and love that people began following him and worshiping him. He never asked for this but embraced the people as his children even so.
This man was humble, emotional, and Caring. He wanted everyone to be free and liberated from pain. He was pure love. And this is who was are celebrating today...
I like to imagine Jesus was dark skin and hair and shining brown eyes with thin sandals on his feet and dusty colored robes. The skin around his ankles and toes was dry and cracked. His beard got mangy and long at times. His hands were strong and kind and worn from his work as a fisher and builder.

Many loving masters such as Jesus lived very humbling lives with no desire for fame or personal recognition. Just remember that this man did not want you to worship him, he wanted to be received and he wanted his teachings to be acted out, not just heard.
What ways can you be humble and generous in your life?
What ways can you help others without expecting anything in return?

I love to ponder the lives of those who we read about in history class or church. What was their environment like, their family life, their food, their clothes, the sound of their voice, the way they interacted with others.. We have the ability to create lives with our imaginations! Think beyond the story someone else tells you. Keep creating, keep loving, and be like Jesus today.
Thank you for reading! Please share and I'm sending you my love and apprecication! <3 <3 <3 <3
:)

What do I want to create? That's a big one.

     Currently, I am going through health coaching training and we are doing intention setting exercises. For the past hour I have been asking myself questions such as, why do you want to do the program? what makes you inspired? what motivates you? what difference do you want to make in the world? what is your life's purpose?
     These are hearty things to ponder. As I wrote my answers down, I am realizing that I sometimes hesitate to ask myself these questions because the weight of these questions are enough to change your life! The cogs in my brain are spinning and grinding and I felt myself thinking that my answers were somehow not good enough, that they were incomplete, that it couldn't be that simple.
I thought that I had to get into a certain state of mind to answer such deep questions, but then it hit me: Once I answer the question, more answers will come to me. I can have as many answers as I want and none of them are wrong or insincere! Of course, some will be stronger rooted desires and  those are the ones to pay the most attention to. I'd like to share some of my answers with you all~

What is your life's purpose? "My life's purpose is to be my healthiest and most loving and share that with people. To be free and tackle the challenges of this planet with solutions everyone can create. To reawaken the heart and bring people together to create healing together."
As I wrote that another desire came into my mind.
I am here to use my voice to heal and unite all beings on this planet. 

And so, let me share some loving suggestions with you to bring health and vitality into your life and hopefully I inspire you to create change and spread it!!
 
 1. Drink more water
2. Eat more fruits and vegetables
4. Find enjoyable physical activity and do it often
5. Have fun and play!


~From my heartSoul to You

Snogging

 Before you begin reading, practice your best British accent and use it as you read the post. It's meant to be that way for the full experience.

Snogging. What is the first thing that comes to mind?

Two men wrestling in the mud? Smacking
dough into a thin crust? Throwing a punch and missing as you fling your body to the ground?
Maybe you think of two people having a full out PDA, hands, tongues and all?
This word is a British word for kissing. Just kissing, not necessarily sloppy, it sounds sloppy doens't it? So juicy.
One time I had a friend ask if I wanted to snog and I thought he was asking me to go snorkling or pig riding. I looked at him quizzically then his lips spread into a cute/exasperated smile. He leaned toward me and I jumped which bumped my head into his and he started laughing. "What's snogging?" I asked. "Let me show you."
He gently held the back of my neck and placed his smooth mouth on mine.
I started blushing and he kissed my pink cheeks.

I later wondered if all cross-cultural snogs happen in a similar fashion.
Does every first snog have to be so cute and awkward. I think it's better that way. Puts away the pride.
My current boyfriend and I had our first snog when we were high from MaryMuffins. I'm not sure he entirely remembers it but I do. We layed on the top of Observatory Hill on a warm June evening. We both were glazed over and melting into the dark grass. We looked into each others eyes and it just happened. My throat felt as if I had just swallowed the kiss we shared. It wasn't much action but there was a lot of energy circulating between us, the charge was high and the shyness was saturated.
The bashful energy lasted between us for a long time. I still experience it on occasion.

I think that being shy is a blessing. For me it is the moment of high intensity that arises uncontrollably. It reveals new desires and parts of oneself that were unexpressed and undiscovered previously.

What is a snogging memory that you remember vividly?
What is one time that you were shy to snog?
What was the first thing you thought of when you heard the word snog?
PLEASE SHARE!
Have a blessed day*

Existentialism vs Monotheism

Can the two coexist and both be true?

Can a person believe they have full creative power over their thoughts, their feelings and their life while believing in a higher power that created the universe down to every single miniscule detail??

Where's the line between 'I did that' and 'God did that.' Maybe 'God did that because I let [Him] do it through me' is more true than both of the above. 

If God exists, does [He] respect our personal boundaries and choices, did [He] the creator of everything give us our free will to choose whether we wanted to be as Holy as [He] or defy the creator as bodly as a misbehaving child?

Learning of the Law of Attraction has given me questions more detailed than these. Did the Creator of all the universes implement Universal Laws to govern our lives while making us think that we are totally free to do whatever we want or are these mysterious Universal Laws our guide to actually receiving the desires of our hearts and minds?

Maybe the Laws are the pathway back to the Source of Creation Itself.

Maybe the Universal Laws existed before God and gods. Is there really one all seeing eye that witnesses and observes all the things happening in the universe simultaneousy? Is this eye only witnessing or is this consciousness directly experiencing? 

Is this consciousness God? 

Is it experiencing with us, or AS us, or both?

Is God not only the infinite pool of wisdom love and creativity but actually the experiencer of life itself? In this notion there is no separation between Creator and Created. There is an intimacy between the thinker and her thoughts.

If you have ever dwindled in the world of psychodelic plants then you may be able to grasp this next one easier:

What if everything, not just every 'living' thing, but EVERYTHING, All matter, Is inseperable from consciousness. All things contain and are birthed from energy that is moving, vibrating, breathing even, FEELING. 

So building upon that, God has somehow stitched [Himself] into every fiber of existance and continues to expand with awareness of expanding. 

And we are a part of that expansion. We are a way for this consciousness to express Itself in new ways that bring expansion to the heart of Creation.

And if we are made of the fibers of Intelligent Creation (God) then we must have creative control as well because we are One. 

So I do create my life then, and I do choose my thoughts and emotions and responses and I am an all powerful creator. 

Not because I believe in God, but because I AM GOD... 

I am a woman not plastic

A story from my childhood:

I was about 3 years old, living in the suburbs outside of Pittsburgh where I attended a private Christian school. I grew up in a quiet neighborhood and loving atmosphere. I had friends on my street that I used to play with everyday. 

There was a hot day in the middle of summer, year 1999. I was wearing a two piece bathing suite as I walked outside into the heat. 

Across the road a neighbor saw my adorable self and said something like 'her chubbiness is so cute!' 

I heard her and became immediately self conscious. I ran inside and didn't want to be in my bathing suite anymore

I was this appearance oriented already at the age of 3. I'm sure that any little kid can be shy but I feel like this situation was directly linked to the media's portrayal of women and even girls. 

People focus so much on how we look and always comment on our hair our clothes our makeup our looks that we start to focus on them just to get approval by others. This happens even to tiny children!

And I'm getting really bored and fed up with it. I do not want to be acknowledged for my fashion choices as the main facet of my being lol. I am a woman! I am a sensitive empathic creative human that is loving! And thats what I want to be noticed for.

I have really been soul diving and allowing myself to stray away from the media's ideal of a perfect body. I am adopting myself the way I am. 

The truth of the whole matter is, if you feel good you will look good. Not the other way around.

Superficiality is appealing temporarily but it will never satisfy our need to be accepted and loved unconditionally.

If you are a woman who dresses up to look good, if you do your hair and makeup everyday, if you feel naked in public without those, realize: you are beautiful without those things. You can feel confident without adding anything.

You don't have to try!

Please encourage girls and women in your life that they are beautiful just as they are. Even if you are around women who are self assured and seem put together, trust me, they really need to hear it. 

The most beautiful women in the world tend to not realize just how beautiful they are because they are trying to reach a standard. Please tell your mom, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend just how beautiful and unique and amazing she is. Tell her at a time when she would least expect it, like in a pair of sweat pants with her hair up, or after yoga. 

We need to change the way women see themselves. This is truly an epidemic that I have personally fallen victim to. 

Men, you too! You have the ability to change this mindset just as much as women do. 

Share this with a woman you love. And keep encouraging young girls to be themselves. 

Practice not looking in the mirror so often and see how it changes the way you see yourself. I like you just the way you are, I hope you do too.

Try by Colbie Caillat:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

YES WOMAN!

Last August I left my house intending to go on an epic adventure with my friend.
We ended up at our friend's house that night and the movie Yes Man was on tv. If you haven't seen this movie, PLEASE watch it. Not only is Jim Carey smashingly handsome but this movie taught me to take risks and I ended up going hitchhiking the next day.
The premise of the story was to say yes to all offers and opportunities that present themselves and don't hold back on taking chances. This doesn't apply to ALL situations, but it does to most.
Think about it, if you said yes to everything that was asked of you, you could do everything you want and discover things that you love that you didn't know you loved! You don't know what you don't know. The best job in the world could be waiting for you that you may have never heard of.
You could be vacationing in Hawaii if you decided to enter the free sweepstakes offering a luxury trip. You could be having a date with your soul mate if you decided to make an eharmony account like your mom suggested. You could be eating the best meal of your life if you decided to try a new restaurant this weekend. You could be making the best song ever if you decided to go over and talk to that cool dude who just happened to own a recording studio..
Anything is possible!!!!



Don't let that little voice in your mind hold you back from trying new things. Life is too short! Don't grow up with regret. It's never too late to start, no matter what age you are.

Not only can we accept the offers given to us from other people, but also the suggestions inside our minds. When we get an idea to do something, the best moment to do it is then! Don't wait.
Even the tiny things can lead us to life changing experiences.
 Let's say you are walking down the road and you pass up an intersecting street. Something inside you says, go back and turn down that road. So you go back and do it. As you are walking you see a bicycle sitting on the side of someone's yard with a sign that says "for sale. name your price." This happens to be the exact bicycle you wanted. Same color, frame, brand, and style!! You buy the bike ride it to your friend's house and they end up taking you to a concert in the park where you met to meet the band that is now your favorite band.

This is the way things work. So go watch that movie and see what happens :D

The Intentional Awkward Pause

The Intentional Awkward Pause is a very effective tool in becoming a better listener and conversationalist. Usually we try to avoid awkward silences at every chance, but here's a way to become comfortable with pauses and use them to our advantage.
So often we think we are listening, but we're not. We have a person talking to us, voices in our minds talking to us, opinions blaring about this or that, all the while our friend thinks they have our full attention. It can be tricky to fully pay attention to someone, especially when you are bored with what they are saying or if you are so excited you can't keep your mouth shut.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone was telling you something you could completely relate to and after every sentence you wanted to interject with an excited agreement or point of advice?
This is where the IAP comes in handy. Here's how it works:

A person is talking to you and once done with their sentence they pause. (This is where you would normally come in.) Instead of saying something right away, intentionally wait ~3 seconds before replying. By not saying anything right away, the person speaking might continue to open up to you. They might realize the solution to their problem on their own, or feel a desire to connect to you deeper because they can feel you are listening. This gives you the chance to see them, not just for what they are saying but how they are saying it, the emotions underlying their words.

For me, using this tool keeps me patient and present in the conversation. It makes me appreciate the other person's expression and their perspective rather than force my own onto them.
I suggest you try it and see what happens, comment below if you see any differences in your interactions ^_^

I found this cool trick from a woman on YouTube named Marie Forleo. She has a show called MarieTV where she talks about creating a life and business that you love! Check her out!
http://www.marieforleo.com

I can't say no to love

Sitting in my basement is making me depressed. Not because it's dark, or smelly or dusty. This is the exact place where I used to sit all night and talk for hours, laugh about the smallest things that seemed like the biggest. This is where I've been spooned and kissed and loved and made to be the most important person in the universe. And that's gone now. The very person who I shared these fantasies with ignores me, is angry at me, probably wants to wipe me from his memory. All because I couldn't say no to love.

I was barely 16 when he confessed his love to me. He was 24. He was a traveling rapper with red flaming hair who could probably have any girl he wanted, and he wanted me. I had never had a real boyfriend before. I didn't know how to kiss. I barely knew how to talk to him! But I wanted to know. I wanted to know what it felt like to be held and adored and in love. On the golf course that night, I felt like my heart was beating so loud it was distracting me from thinking. All I could do was listen to him communicate his feelings and absorb. I was a sponge, full of a mysterious liquid and I liked it. This was the first time we were ever alone together...

Over the next few months, we started to have 'a thing.' It became more serious over time and we truly were falling in love. This is what I wanted. This is what I had never had before.

Time challenged us to be what we had become. Were we just friends who happened to love making out and sleeping next to each other? Were we in an open relationship? Did we want to just be together? When did monogamy mean kissing the other's best friend on her birthday? Did I want to be in a relationship at all?..

We were in a cosmic dance, I became him and he became me. We shared ideas, feelings, desires, beliefs, fears. We slept under the stars together, made love in the forest, hitchhiked across the country, motivated each other to save the world and become our best, we asked questions, provided answers. The lines blurred and my heart was tied up to all these feelings and dreams, intentions and promises. It was beauty to the point of tears. It was romance to the point of heartbreak. It was sensational to the point of bursting.

The past couple of years, my mind has revolved around him and me. What we created and what we were going to create. As we grew closer, as we discovered our similarities, marriage came into the future picture. My 17 year old mind couldn't think of saying no so I said yes. It wasn't formal or concrete, but it was spoken. It was committed and proclaimed. And if I said no, pain was inevitable, right?

How could I hurt the person who says he loves me more than anyone else in his life? How could I hurt the man who says that he has never felt as connected to anyone more than he does to me? How could I take that away from him? How could he give me the power to do so?!

I couldn't say no to love. At the beginning of this relationship, I was so innocent, so unexperienced, I didn't know what I was getting into. I had no way to conceive of what my heart would go through, how I could be shaped and molded by this man.
At that age, I wanted to be with him for the experience more than I did to be with him specifically. I had nobody to compare him with, no ideal to reach for so I had no reason to say no.
He on the other hand had plenty of past experiences, one night stands, fights, heartbreaks and sex that he knew exactly what he wanted. He knew what kind of girl he wanted to be with for the rest of his life!
I was just happy to be exploring myself, to feel this much affection and pleasure and share it with another human being.

We gave each other our hearts, but I decided I wanted to take mine back. I needed to. I can't stay the 16 year old girl who craved romance now that I know what he wants, what he is seeking, and who he is. It's not fair. I don't have what he wants, I don't want what he wants. I had to let him go so we could be set free. I need to make my own decisions, learn life lessons from my point of view and not what he had done or regretted not doing. I can't share all of my desires and feelings and beliefs with anyone! I need to give myself the time and patience to grow, to compare, to understand, to listen.
It's hard to let go of someone you relied on for so long, someone you trusted would be there for you, would be your provider.
I am still shaken and heartbroken and messy, but I'd rather be that way then pretend to be solid and strong and stable. I can't pretend that I know exactly what I want. I can't pretend to be satisfied.
There's so much in this infinite world for me. There are so many people to meet, places to visit, ideas to consider, and feelings to share.
 I simply can't say no to love.

They way we treat them.

The way humans treat animals. From our perspective, we would love to think that we treat them kindly. We give them homes, we play with them, we pet them, we take them on walks, we make nature documentaries celebrating their beauty, we breed them and cross breed them, we make idols out of them even. 

But, from their perspective I don't think we come off very nice. We lock them in cages, we force feed them bland pebbles of dehydrated meat, we ride on them for entertainment, we force them into zoos where they have little space, we cut down their habitats to create farms where we put them into factories to be raised for food, we cut up their bodies and eat them, we take their eggs and babies, we take them out of the oceans in mass quantities to make money off their carcasses, we do scientific experiments on them, we attach images to them to justify the way we treat them, and so much more.

Now, I know that sounded awful. And most people haven't been to a slaughterhouse or behind the scenes of a circus elephant's life, or in a laboratory testing tumors on cats so we don't think about it often, or ever. But, as a species, we are destroying the other species of this planet. And I think it's time to take some Response Ability. Because we can change it. 

We've all seen commercials for the endangered life of polar bears or pandas on tv and wanted to cry. We've all seen the little tags for the WordWildLife, an organization that funds conservation action around the globe. So we know that things can change, we see these changes and want to help because this planet is beautiful! It's so rich and abundant, the biodiversity is a joy and it brings us happiness to learn about new species. So let's keep it that way.

So my question is, why do humans feel the urge to dominate over the other creatures on this planet? I thought we were stewards, not slave masters! It's sickening to see a man kick his dog for barking excessively. When animals get hurt, we can physically feel it. We can feel the suffering of animals. If you have ever seen a slaughterhouse video (which I recommend everyone should to know the truth) then you know that animals do suffer. And we can feel their suffering.

I'm done hearing the pish posh about how animals aren't sentient creatures. OH REALLY? Well then, tell me why a mother cat stays with her babies, teaches them how to defend themselves, feeds them, cleans them, LOVES them. Dolphins are shown to have a better social memory than we do. They remember the sounds of their companions, even after they have been separated for 20 years! When one dolphin dies, their family stays with them and honors them, like a sort of funeral. Animals have the ability to express intentional behaviors, they have complex nervous systems, detailed communication centers in their brain, they have the ability to express emotion with their voices.

Animal sentience is a fact that we can no longer argue. There is profound and large evidence proving it. Coming from that basic understanding, we can take action to protect them, make sure they have what they need to live full, healthy lives and die a natural death- not caused by our violence and technological misuse. 

For me personally, realizing the sentience of animals was enough to make me stop eating them and their products, stop buying leather, buy products only if they are 100% cruelty free and not tested on animals, etc. This motivation was caused by me being EXPOSED to the truth. 

If you have not yet seen it, please watch the documentary Earthlings. You can find it free on youtube below in the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce4DJh-L7Ys

This is not about going vegetarian/vegan or becoming an activist, this is simply about respecting the life on this planet. Honoring the free will of animals and saying Yes to their life. Humans are very powerful and we have the opportunity to destroy this planet or create paradise. The choice is in your hands. 

Response Ability

Ever wonder if humans chose to incarnate here in these bodies or if we were commanded to by some mysterious godly force or maybe even another race of human-like beings.
Ever think about the ability to choose every thought we have or choose our attitude about the circumstances in our lives?
If you know about the Law of Attraction you might watch your thoughts because you know that what you think is what you get.

I call the innate choosing function within every person, our Response Ability. We exercise this Response Ability every single day, every moment, every thought, every feeling. For example, you wake up and have endless options for what you want to do that day, what you want to get out of that day. Maybe you take a shower, maybe you go jogging, maybe you call a friend, maybe you write a 5 page paper on why you love being Irish. Besides just what we do we also exercise our Response Ability in how we think. So you wake up and maybe you dread getting out of bed, or maybe you jump out of bed excited and ready to take on the day, maybe you get up slowly and stretch enjoying the first breath of the day, maybe you start crying because you remember some tragedy that happened last month, maybe you get up and feel so confused as to what you really want to do...

All of these responses are chosen. Wanna know why? Because despite our circumstances, despite our relationships, our lifestyle, our finances, our appearance, every single person in the world has the opportunity at every moment to say: 'I am going to be my best today. I am going to remain optimistic despite what my life looks like because I know everything is just getting better, I am getting healthier, I am making better decisions and choosing better feeling thoughts because I know I can have what I want. I am the creator of my life and I will not settle for anything less than beautiful and joyful and fulfilling. I am going to live a life I love because it's simple. I am going to utilize my resources and have gratitude for what I have.'

Even though many of those thoughts might be hard to choose for a person who's depressed or someone who is extremely unhealthy, we always have the ability to improve our thinking even just a little bit. If we practice this Response Ability conscientiously and take RESPONSIBILITY for everything in our lives we can no longer fall victims to our own lives. This might sound terrible to some because it's a hard thing to do, but it is the most satisfying, empowering, life enhancing thing we could ever do for ourselves.

Once we decide to change, nothing can get in the way. Consistency is key, just like exercise or learning to play and instrument, or learning a new language or riding a bike. Improving our thoughts takes consistent fine tuning as we learn to feel better and see life as a ride instead of a burden.

If you want things in your life to change, you have to change things in your life.

One positive thought is more powerful than 10,000 negative thoughts.

You reap what you sow.

If you continue to think what you've always thought, you're going to get what you have always got.

A great exercise to start thinking better thoughts is to write it down! Ask yourself what you want? What makes you happy? What foods make you feel good? What things do you want? What do you want to learn? Anything that gets you excited, feeling good, and inspired.

I will write more posts about this topic so please keep checking for new articles and Keep Going! You have already come so far!!

Saddest Picture From Space

200 miles from Earth, a man sits in a spaceship looking down over the beautiful planet we know as home. He gazes down over the lights, the darkness, the contrast. Then as he realizes the location of the spectacular illumination, his heart sinks and tears pour from his eyes, but he cannot look away. 

This is the sight Alexander Gerst was witnessing when he might have experienced what I wrote above. The location is Isreal and Gaza underneath blaring rockets and bombs exploding in the night. Anyone looking at this photo is witnessing murder, despite the disguise of elegance and luster, despite the distance, despite your definition of murder. If you were to zoom in, you would see people dying, bloodshed in the streets, cries and screams in small towns, people panicking, and parents trying to reassure their children it would be alright even though they don't believe it themselves. 

We can't visually see any of this in the picture, we can imagine it, we can feel it and we know it hurts. And It doesn't have to be this way. 

What makes people so angry that they resort to killing each other? What makes people feel so much resentment that they cannot control their actions? 

I have a certainty that anyone who could hurt people are very hurt themselves. My maternal instincts want to hug the violence and rage out of them and ask them, what hurts? What is wrong? I want to hold them while they cry. I want to talk their anger right out of their hearts so they can surrender to what feels good. 

Even though these thoughts are sad and difficult to bear, it's important to acknowledge the internal struggles going on in the humans propagating wars. It's important that we as witnesses do not propagate the war inside ourselves by harboring blame or resentment for these people because then, on a smaller scale, we are just doing what they are doing: projecting our pain onto others so that they must suffer with us. 

I ask that you forgive and love these people, have compassion because they are human just like you. I know you have gotten made at someone at one point in your life. You've hit someone out of deep anger or hatred. You've yelled and screamed at someone you love. You may have even killed someone.

War is a larger expression of those same emotions. The same feelings you have felt are the same feelings that are causing the war. Once you understand that, it's easier to have a little compassion for terrorists or serial killers because they are people too. And they just need  love.